I have opted to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. Last night, I felt hungry and opted to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, included the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I noticed something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to put in water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of strange crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of mind.