Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s some context: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this day they packed me like half of the leftover Pringles from the day before, you know, in that tubular container. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came around so I could take MY Pringles and go eat it outside, they were missing from my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class who ALWAYS wore a purple princess dress that looked like a bad Halloween costume (seriously), and she was known for being mean. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I storm out of the classroom and begin looking for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off.