I have opted to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I got hungry and chose to make some ramen. I took out the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I understood something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to include water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of peculiar crystalline substance never before seen. I had a second thoughts.