I have opted to stay anonymous to shield my identity from the foolishness. The previous night, I got hungry and chose to make some ramen. I took out the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had failed to put in water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of strange crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of mind.