So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. All my classmates know I like him. But one day, he walked in looking incredibly stylish, and I unintentionally out loud whispered, “Shit, his face looks like the best chair,” and the girl who sits in front of me turned around and said, “WTH, that’s freaky and gross,” and she relocated. She gives me weird looks every time she sees me now.