Okay, so this happened in fourth grade, and I was surrounded by a bunch of idiotic classmates. Here’s some context: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this particular day they packed me like half of the leftover Pringles from the day before, you know, in that cylinder container. I was thrilled because I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they were missing from my bag. I began searching the area, looking for my Pringles. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. Being a judgmental 9-10 year old, I immediately concluded that she must’ve taken my damn Pringles. I just tell my teacher, “Well too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Being a little angel. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I hurry over to see what’s going on. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And right in the middle of them all was a smug-looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now, even clueless Moira knows she’s in trouble. I would’ve murdered her at the very least, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.