I have decided to keep my identity hidden to safeguard my identity from the foolishness. Yesterday evening, I got hungry and opted to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, put in the seasoning and veggies, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I noticed something was wrong. A awful burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a mass of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of peculiar crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of heart.