Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s the back story: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this day they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that tubular container. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came around so I could take MY Pringles and go eat it outside, they were missing from my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. Then this thought comes to my mind—What if MOIRA STOLE IT? Moira was this chubby girl in my class who ALWAYS wore a purple princess dress that looked like a bad Halloween costume (seriously), and she was known for being mean. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now, even clueless Moira knows she’s in trouble. I would’ve murdered her at the very least, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off.